01.25.10
The Morning After…..
You wake up. Eyes swollen. Heart broken. Faith shattered. Its the morning after it happened. You’ve taken a strong left hook, straight to the jaw, and are shell-shocked. Life as you know it, or at least as you imagined it, seems over. You replay the event over and over. Analyze every word and reaction to no avail. Someone has encroached the wall and ushered in the opposing forces. You are left in a state of shock. You look in the mirror and see no glimpse of your prior self. And realize that after years of construction….the wall has miserably failed.
We’ve all been here. That devastating moment when you are forced to come to terms with the realization it really is over. The dream becomes a mist fading into the woods. And it leaves behind a hole inside you that feels enormous….insatiable. You believed in him. You accepted his confessions of love and adoration. And despite the pain, somehow still adore him. You’re still checking the phone a million times expecting that call or text with an apology.
Well it’s not coming…ever. Trust me on this. He’s a man. And if you haven’t heard yet…then he didn’t care about you. He can live with out you. But on the flip side of the coin so can you. You underestimate your strength. You can and will move on. It will be a slow day by day process. And though the obstacle of surviving this excruciating pain seems insurmountable, you will overcome it. And one day you will wake up without rolling over and wishing he was there. You will be able to look in the mirror and see the strong woman you used to be reappear. And you will laugh again when something is really funny.
The friends will be there with a glass of wine, some tissues for the tears and heart-felt advice you probably won’t take. But their intentions are good. And the company will aid you. Though the words may sting and not be what you want to hear, they know you better than you do right now. Listen to them.
And though you may never truly fill the hole he left-for some scars never heal, you will come terms with the fact that anyone who would leave an open wound like that, without an apology or second thought, never cared about you anyway. For any man that is worth your tears, would never make you cry in the first place.
And you will again pick up the bricks and tools and begin the reconstruction process…..acknowledging it will be ages before anyone gets through the fortress again…..
Brent Kerlin said,
January 26, 2010 at 4:23 am
With no measure of sadness, there can be no happiness.
With no measure of pain, there can be no joy.
With no dark, there is no light…
This is the way of all things and represented the eternal Ying and Yang.