05.08.10

Was It Worth It?

Posted in Life As We Know It at 3:40 pm by Administrator

One day your life will flash before yours eyes.  Make sure it’s worth watching!–Unknown

 

We’ve all heard the stories about this impending moment.  When right before it all ends, your life will flash before your eyes.  What will you see?  For eight and a half years I have pondered this question.   Will it be a collage of misery and missed opportunities or visions of you blissfully smiling with the ones you hold the dearest.  Will I go back to relive the aimless wandering through the graveyard after burying the loved one whose loss tragically changed my life?  Or envision sitting on the dock with the BFF Florida one of those peaceful morning, gazing upon a breathtaking sunrise to rival all others?  Or maybe I will witness that moment when the one man I ever loved left.  When I was stopped dead in my tracks–unwilling to move forward, unable to look back.  I think about this, probably too often. 

After years of speculation, I’ve decided I want both(after all, I have always wanted it all.  It’s who I am).  I relish the thought of moments of my life playing before me when I was my happiest.  Those times with friends and family that you look back upon and simply smile.  The nights spent with the one you love when not a word was said.  You were just there absorbing that content feeling.  That level of closeness achieved by few, but sought after by all.  My Christmases at home with my family.  Our Annual Girls Shopping Day/Margarita Night.  Your friends kids’ birthday parties, christenings, first communions and weddings.  The travels to Mexico & Hawaii.  The Girls weekend in the Ozarks and Michigan.  Experiencing the thrill of showing The PC Sister and friends the city of Chicago for the first time.

But I also want to see the less than perfect side of my life.  The tremendous trials. The illness.  The loved ones lost.  For these events, though painful, shaped who I became.  Built a strength in me to allow me to survive the next struggle.  To see the impossible task before me, and then conquer it.  And most importantly, these moments allowed me to appreciate the wonders of life.  To grin at that moment in my nightly runs when I went passed those amazing lilac bushes whose scent was intoxicating.  They make me stand up for what I believe in, never say no to a friend in need and always express how much my loved ones mean to me.  My sister and I never say goodbye, we simply end all conversations with “I love you”.  For the darkest hours should inevitably make you cherish the light ones.

So when this moment arrives, You should ask only one question, “Was it worth it?”

And if you can’t gaze up and smile and answer this question positively, you still have some work to do. 

My answer will be a resounding Yes.

05.03.10

Be Careful How You Word the Question…..

Posted in Life As We Know It at 1:16 am by Administrator

I am the middle child.  Not tormented.  Not the “Hell-raiser”(ok…maybe a little).  Just squeezed safely between two amazing siblings I wouldn’t trade for the world(just don’t advise them of this.  I will never hear the end of it).  For the first six years of my life, it was me and my older, wiser sister.  We were inseperable.  Best friends preparing for world-domination(or at least subdivision domination).  Life worked…well.

Then our parents evidently had a wild night of(I can’t say it…please just figure it out on your own).  And then….(if you’re not the brightest crayon in the box, I’ll spell it out for you….BABY).  That’s right.  No sooner did my sister and my plan to inherit the world begin, did my parents decide to mix it up with another child(as if handling the two of us was not enough of a challenge for them).  Perhaps they were trying to ramp up some reinforcements on their side for fear we accomplished our goal.  Not sure of the motives, but a new sibling was on the way.  Now do not misunderstand me, I love my brother.  He is blessed with the same crazy sense of humor we all have which makes him a blast to have around.  But at six, the thought of another child entering our fortress and securing his own territory was less than appealing.

So the day of the blessed arrival of our new baby came.  And as we drove in the family truckster to the hospital, my parents decided to try and make small talk to get us excited about the event(something they never did again after this instance).  So as my sister and I sat in the back seat of the family car minding our own business, our father turned to us and decided to ask a question to this day I’m sure he will never forget.  In an upbeat tone he asked “so what do you girls want?”(obviously referring to the sex of the child about to enter our family).   However, despite our young ages, we saw an opportunity.  So we sat in the back seat for some time, whispering back and forth as if determining the outcome of the Nobel Peace Prize.  Then it came to us.  What do we want?

We leaned forward brandishing a devious grin and simply repiled…..”we want a monkey!”.  After this day, we were never addressed as a pair again.  Our parents came to the unique understanding in that car that with us, divide and attempt to conquer, was the only possible way to handle any situation involving us together.

So parents, be careful how you word the question.  Because children are far smarter than you think.

 

Ps….Luv you Techy Brother and PC Sister.  Life would not be the same w/out you!